I think I just needed to vent with these last bits of poetry, feel free to let me know if they are badly deserving of 'Scrap' status. My sense of humor has caught up with me again, so I shouldn't be spamming you with any more moodiness for a while. I want to write some stories - y'know, actual long ones. Send me hate-mail if I don't hold to promises this time, okie?

Okay, updates -
'A Hero's Final Journey' needs rewritten.

Found an old story loosely based on a very small part of a video game I found interesting - I want to work on it. I'll post the original bit I wrote. It's in Scraps, by the way. (2 bazillion points if you make even a ballpark guess about where the whole thing came from)

Story based on 'Tale from a dream', I think it has potential.

Visual art...I'll try. Maybe some nature drawings, or humorous stuff.

Hate is a fallen symphony
Appalling in its simplicity
Appealing, implicitly
For it gives a sense of energy

Sometimes I like to pretend I know what I'm doing.

Sometimes I like to pretend other people know what I'm doing.

Sometimes maybe one of us actually does...

I'm bored, so I'm imagining typing this with typewriter sounds. It would make it feel rather more like I'm accomplishing something by writing it.

[Thinking aloud in text form]

Well, lots of thoughts but, of course, hard to articulate.

First of all, a question that continues to bother me from time to time - motivation. Sometimes I feel like all I'm trying to do here and elsewhere is show off and earn some kind of attention from others. I'm often hesitant to show anything of mine until I'm sure someone is actually interested, so I don't feel like I'm continually saying 'look at me! look at me!' until I end up falling on my face when people just start ignoring what I say or do. Another thing...I don't update or do art nearly as much as I could, or so I feel. It's kind of an annoyance, but I know I could write more, draw more, etc. if I had a reason? No, not know, I guess...

Boyo...Eric and analysis go hand in hand. Looking, watching, seeing, wondering, thinking, conceiving, believing, knowing, all those other ing-things. Deep stuff, shallow, in between...so much going on that I'm not sure sometimes where to focus my efforts, and often I just think about something to a conclusion, forget it, and revisit the whole thing later, whether or not I remember the conclusion I arrived at. And when I say 'so much going on', I don't mean just within my mind, there's a whole huge world out there, and so much goes on within even a part of it that I almost go nuts trying to keep track of that much!

From time to time, though, I expend some effort putting into words something going on within my mind. I consider it a good exercise, because I don't have that much practice coming up with ways to explain my thoughts to other people normally. One of my weaknesses, I guess. Kinda like the whole, 'dealing with things going on around me'. I tend to try and keep track of everything, so the more people, the more sort of 'wired' I get, until I can finally escape the situation and quiet down somewhere else, slowing my heart rate, getting breathing back to normal, etc. Not a problem when I actually have friends around, though. Really gives me something to focus on, instead of continuously flicking from one thing to another, people's movement, noises, conversations, background noise, outside, etc., etc.



Wow, did you read all that, or skip a bunch to focus on this little bit towards the end? Oh well, I'm not all that worried. Just that, not many people tell me anything about what they actually think, and I'm quite interested. And yes, this is all I'm going to write. Have a nice day!